Having a random hookup so left but love u
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
