I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There's always time for handjobs
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
