No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize