you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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