Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
