my vag is so smooth its legendary
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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