I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
