i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
