dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
