Tell her she can't have a vagina
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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