some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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