i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize