I love black thongs
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
