four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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