So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
