mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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