dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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