i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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