i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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