She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
