i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
