don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize