my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
