so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
