I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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