And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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