Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
