Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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