hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
