We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
