I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
