sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
