Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
