Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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