smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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