ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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