you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
