How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
