Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
