he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
