god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
