is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
