Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
