I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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