i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm too high and old for this...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
