____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
