Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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