your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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