didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
