Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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