If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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