Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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