you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
did i just pee glitter
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
