After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
