sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
