if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
