I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
