Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
