Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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