No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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