I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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