are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
