My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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