So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
