So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
