You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
