You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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