Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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