I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
